Being dismissed, whether it’s from a job, from a boyfriend, or heck, even from the room, is the worst feeling. In your heart, you feel like you needed to be there and if there was any inkling that things were wrong, you either had hope that things would change or wanted the dignity of being the first to roll out. It sucks because it feels like the rug has been pulled from under you and if you’re not prepared, my friend, you will NOT look cute if you lose your balance and fall face forward.
Therefore, it’s important to do a few things to deal with the very deep emotional pain you are feeling. There’s no hiding it, stuffing it down. Fool, that mess hurts, so feel it. But put a cap on how long you will stay in it. Your body may feel like it has given out, but by putting a limit on it, you can resume living the rest of your life.
What you are dealing with is being completely disoriented by what you thought versus what it really is. It’s over. Done. Still, the blessing here is you don’t have to deal with a situation that’s not for you ANY LONGER. Now, it’s up to you to find out what really IS for you and to rebuild the confidence that most likely has been damaged by this event, especially if constructive criticism (useful) or insults (not useful) came with it. Take what’s constructive and make a list of what you can do with your new awareness. Dismiss all the other stuff you can’t even process.
What about finding out what really IS for you? One thing that can be helpful in determining this is taking stock of everything that you have done before now. What did you like? What didn’t you like? What did you do well? What did you struggle with? Now is a time to try to become very in tune with what matters to you deep down inside, especially now that you’ve experienced this life change. Now is also a time to make sure that you are caring for your needs and not putting stock in something outside of you for your happiness and grounding.
Although it will be a challenge, taking steps toward the life you want after a change is critical. The past shouldn’t hold you back from pursuing other good things. I think sometimes we think of things as the be all end all and like if we don’t have this one thing, we can never be happy. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. Surely if you think of the life you had five years ago, you couldn’t foresee the great things that may have happened to you within the last five months. You don’t know what awesome things that await you but you can begin pursuing great things in a purposeful way right now.
Starting over is like learning to walk again. You’ll have to do it one step at a time and as you become more fluent in your new way of being, it will become easier. Want a new job? Update your resume one day and the next, attend a networking event. Want a new boyfriend? Go to Starbucks to work and strike up a conversation with someone about what’s going on in the news. Being goal-minded and determined not to remain stuck is what’s going to drive you out of the tough spot you are in.
Whatever you do, don’t lose your way blaming yourself endlessly for what has just occurred. It’s a blip in a long life of winding roads. You just have to look for the road that takes you toward the most fulfillment. And remember, you’re now one step closer.
Ever had to restart after a terrible rejection? What where the steps you look to resume living a purpose filled life? Share below.