Oh how I don’t miss a 9-to-5…Well, let me say, there are some HUGE benefits to working a “regular” job, like employer paid benefits, the water cooler and lunch meetings. Ha! Yes, I did enjoy gourmet lunches with all the execs and sharing my ideas with the crew. Some things, though, happened to me while working in a corporate job that I don’t miss…and they all were pretty dumb.

Here’s ten things that make me run from job applications and HR departments:

10. 30 minute to 1 hour lunches. Who eats in just thirty minutes? Better have a PB & J packed or work near a food court–and wear running shoes.

9. Cubicles. Especially LOW cubicles where you can see other people. There is one exception. I had one job where my cubicle was high-walled and in a corner and the boss didn’t mind music at the job. Imagine me pop-locking every now and again in private.

8. Having to ask for time off and needing to be sick. Can I just have the day to relax? I like jobs that offer PTO and comp time. I shouldn’t need to be sick or take family or vacation time to get a mental health day, as I like to call them.

7. Offices without windows. There’s nothing like an office with no window that makes you feel imprisoned. Give me a beach view. Or skyline view downtown.

6. Unreasonable bosses. Of course, those are hit and miss. Fortunately, I’ve not had many, but those who happen to be from Mars should alert applicants.

5. Dressing up. California is relaxed. New York, not so much. In either state, I prefer wearing sweats and house shoes. Not really…Well, a little.

4. Coworkers who don’t get me…or maybe it’s the other way around. I’m a people person, but sometimes I just don’t understand…P.S. Do your coworkers sometime make you feel like you’re on a bad episode of “insert popular reality/series name here”?

3. Time cards. Entrepreneurship makes time cards seem like servitude.  The mighty clock that stamps down on your sorry manilla time card letting your boss and HR know, “You’re MINE for the next eight hours. Bwahaha!!!”

2. Office crushes. Why is there always a hunk in the next department? Distracts me every time.

1. Commuting and traffic. I live in Los Angeles. Nuff said.

Now, believe you me (Why do people say that? “Believe you me.” What does that even mean? lol) if a great job came along, I’d jump on it. There are some things I do like about working full-time like being able to leave work at work, the interaction with cool people, and getting outside every day. Corporate jobs aren’t so bad, but I’ve been so spoiled by being self-employed that dumbness in day jobs seem like torture. Until my $$$K job offer comes along, you’ll find me working by the pool–for myself!


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