“I ain’t gotta tell that fool nothin’!” you angrily respond after it’s suggested that you tell your man you’re sorry. Apologizing is a really hard thing to do. It’s next to impossible if you feel you’re in no way wrong.

Why bring up apologizing in the first place? Because inevitably, we hurt people. Sometimes we hurt them intentionally and sometimes because of being just plain thoughtless, careless, or simply imperfect, something we say or do can profoundly pain someone we care about.

Does “sorry” really cut it? In some cases, no. When you give a half-behind “I’m sorry” out of compulsion and when remorse really isn’t there, it’s pointless and most times insulting.

What if I really meant what I said, but didn’t think they would react that way? Apologize. You may’ve intended to convey one message, but it was received by a resistant and deeply troubled heart. By apologizing for your delivery, for not deliberately trying to hurt them, or for the sake of peace, you may restore a relationship that otherwise could be permanently damaged because of something you said or did.

What if they were wrong? Chances are you both are wrong in some way. Apologize for the part you played in the argument or troublesome situation. Accept responsibility for any contributing factors that you threw into the mix. Hopefully, your humility will help the other person do the same and admit they too messed up a bit and some real conversation can begin, and resolutions can happen.

What if I’d rather get my leg chewed off by a random drug-induced zombie? Don’t apologize. It would be fake. Wait until you really feel up to it. Otherwise, let time pass and if you’re still not able to bring yourself up to it, don’t say the words “I’m sorry” but definitely behave as if you want to resume a positive relationship with your friend (with the exclusion of a situation when it’s the time to give the relationship up as lost).

Okay folks, I know there’s some folks who need to hear from you so get to apologizing!