You know what they say, those who don’t do, teach, or something like that. Basically, your homegirl who has all the information about how to get a man, doesn’t have one.

…and, I’ll be that homegirl. Ha!

However, I’ve had some good leads. The thing is that there’s not really a lot you need to do in order to attract someone. The key lies in attracting someone you’re attracted to and who is worth your time.

Much like anything else, it’s a numbers game. If you’re not meeting people, you’re not able to engage anybody. So how do you get to simply meeting and attracting someone?

Well, it goes a little something like this. We’re created with these instincts and there are sciences that I don’t even understand that affects folks being drawn to each other. While some are obsessed with ever changing standards of beauty, attraction isn’t even about looks all the time. It’s about chemical reactions and pheromones and junk that only God and Jesus know about.

But peep this, some simple things can help you make those connections. What’s worked for me is:

Smile A LOT

Work on falling in love with yourself. Mama always said, “You gotta love you first.” It’s soooo true. I spent my entire life being self-conscience and insecure and even though I knew how to fake confidence by standing up straight and prancing like I was on a runway, the deep seated feelings of I’m-not-all-that-ness seeped out and showed especially in my interactions with the male species. Work on tightening up any weird feelings you have about yourself so that you show the greatness you have to someone else.

Smile like you ain’t got good sense.What’s more welcoming than a smile? I’m not referring to a scary, stalkerish smile, but a warm, pleasant one like the one you give when you greet someone you love or someone you are meeting to do business with. It says, “Hi, I’m happy to see you.” I worked at an oil refinery with men GA-LORE and I mean those suckas were FOINE. So, being a naturally shy person, and struggling with insecurity, my natural reaction was to just smile sheepishly as I passed, as an unspoken “hello”. Later, I started to notice that the response was frequently the beginning of a conversation and getting to know some really cool people. Don’t smile at folks who you don’t want to engage in a convo with, but do smile so as to show you’re open to meeting.

Be into yourself. I’m not recommending that you be a selfish person, but my mom and grandmother ALWAYS told me to spend my youth developing my personal interests, gifts, getting an education and growing spiritually, emotionally and mentally. As a result, I was passionate about reading, travel, art, sewing, painting, jewelry making, singing, writing, learning French, volunteering and so many other fulfilling activities. It enriched my life and by extension, it enriched others ability to relate to me, their ability to be entertained by being in my company and it also made me so busy where I wasn’t sitting around desperately waiting around for guys to call. The more you’re able to fulfill yourself, the better person you’ll be for someone else and they’ll sense it.

Of course, there are other things that you can do, but I just feel passionately about it not being about looks or looking like the girls on the TV or magazines and more about the confidence you exude and how you make the other person feel. Half the folks looking for the video vixens will treat you like a video vixen and you, hopefully, want a little more than to be a fling or sidepiece. Set yourself apart by not only being fabulous but by nurturing yourself to where you’re a person of substance and positive energy. Be fly inside first and the outside will just flow with it.

I can’t even utter the words (though it’s expected that women should downplay themselves in this weird emotional self-battery, overly humble stuff) that I’m not the most beautiful person in the world. I am! If I don’t think that, how on earth can I expect someone else to, or more importantly, if I don’t believe this for myself, WHEN someone else does, will I believe them and be open to receiving their love??

The same thing stands for you. You can and will (YES YOU) attract love without having to bend over like something in Cirque du Soleil by just being confident, inviting, and fun.

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