Yeah, this blog is about business but underneath every entrepreneur is someone wanting to be loved. Love makes our existence meaningful and romantic love can bring bliss and a higher quality of life. Once you find it, the best thing to do is to work to keep it, avoiding sabotage that will end it. What do I mean?
Well, I’ll admit, I LOVE men. Too much, even. Like, I have ADD when it comes to who I want to marry at present. Likely because although I’m 31, I still feel like a teenage girl, with crushes and the lack of attention (I’m too busy to really be in healthy relationship) to really sit still and be in love. Don’t fault me. I don’t actively date, or play with emotions, I just admire and mentally drool, then move on.
Still, EVVVVERY now and again, someone will actually have the very rare ability to make me catch feelings. Oh and it’s always intense. They love me and I LOOVVE them. (Why am I not married yet?? I have to ask God about that. lol) It’s great, it’s beautiful and I’d like NOT to mess it up.
If you’re anything like me in my 20’s, you’ve messed your love joint up plenty-o-times. It’s one thing if you and the other person just don’t mesh and aren’t compatible, but it’s another if you do dumb stuff like I did. I found love and because of being too eager (READ: thirsty), I ran the poor guys off.
Being aggressive in love may work for some but if you usually find yourself single as a result of it, it’s time to change. True love comes easy breezy. Rushed, or forced romance, and that nonstop calling, texting and what amounts to controlling behavior has to go.
Case in point. I’d known a guy for YEARS. Like maybe 10. We’d been friends but neither one of us were in a place to date each other nor was there a desire. Circumstance changed, and started talking. Then, one day, he started getting upset that I didn’t call back soon enough. Then, he started getting angry that I didn’t call enough. Then, he started getting angry that I was getting scared by his getting angry. Eventually, I cut him off.
When you find a good thing, don’t choke it to death. Let that person breath. True friendship and love is understanding and not overly possessive of time and space. Trust me, if you scare the person, it’s not going to result in a great romance. At least it didn’t work for me.
What seems to work (results may not be typical) is this:
Be normal. Now that you found someone, don’t act as if they will leave. Don’t give them a reason to.
Be pleasant. Always having a bad attitude and complaining about minor things will not encourage them to come around. Make being in your presence a blessing–not a malediction.
Be yourself. If you act like someone else, they’ll be scared as heck when the real you bursts out.
Have your own interests. When you have a life, you’ll be busy doing those things, and most times that will make someone want to work to find time in your schedule to be with you. If you’re always there, in their face, ready, easy, you’ll get washed up really quickly. Fulfill yourself and your relationship will find itself MORE fulfilling.
Work out that jealous thing. I’ll preclude that with, let’s hope the person doesn’t deliberately do things to make you jealous. However, some of us are jealous for no good reason and automatically turn our nose up at anyone that the other knows. I may not know everything but I do know that jealousy is an internal thing (albeit one that can be aggravated). If you dislike random folks just because, ask yourself why and figure out solutions to your security or esteem concerns. An innocent partner will appreciate this.
Watch them eyeballs. Don’t give your mate a reason to have that jealous thing.
Be gracious with your appreciation and expressions of love. If you love and value them, express it, in your verbal and non-verbal, sexy little way.
Now, you know they say those without a mate have all the advice and many times discount us. What I do know is that I rarely get involved because most times people come with some insubstantial crap that I have no interest in. I won’t measure others by my moral yardstick, but I will say that much can be done to keep love together and a lot of it is good old-fashion, time-tested stuff.
If you’re interested in keeping things together with you and your boo, don’t engage behaviors that will send them away running. Be normal, don’t let aggression scare them away, and be easy breezy. Hopefully your love will flourish and last (forever, like the Keith Sweat song! LOL)